Baby Jay

So...I've been home winging it with the kiddies while Cindy has been away at a much deserved women's conference and somehow I stumbled upon a key element of my childhood that I have unknowingly kept from our kids.  I seriously feel guilt from the injustice from this lack of historical information.

I haven't been feeling the greatest so most of my parent to child interactions this past day or so have been through movies, feeding times and the occasional fussing for picking on the dog.  Today was not much different other than doodling up some quickie cartoon sketches for the kids to color (score one for dad...and to all those teachers in school that said that would never pay off...ppptthh).  It was in the midst of cartooning that I went into reminiscing mode and found a detail about my childhood that I never actually revealed to thing 1 and thing 2.

As a precursor to what I'm about to write, you must understand that I was not just an only child but a very isolated only child.  This wasn't really anyone's fault (unless you ask my mom...don't ask mom).  Mom and dad divorced when I was 4 and mom only had one place to go.  That in turn was to live with my great grand parents...in a very unique two story house right beside a main highway.  To give some dimensions, our front porch was about 6 feet from the main road so I understand my mom's ever so slight paranoia to not let me go anywhere but inside the fun house we called home.  None the less, this reality kept me inside and away from the outside world a lot.  Still to this day when I hear the term latch key kid it makes my heart sink a little.

Ok, so back to my or really our kids revelation.  I started to explain to them that I indeed had an imaginary friend and this little guy was more than just some made up character.  We played games together, wrestled each other and generally just hung out all the time.  You could almost hear the sound of their jaws hitting the floor when I told them this (I'm still super hip and cool dad to them at the moment).

These children have a sibling, a yard, church people, video games, the internet, you name it.  Of the problems they may potentially have from having me as their dad, being connected to the outside world is not one of them. 

At this point in the story you might be thinking played games? wrestled? hung out?  Really?...yep really.

Yes...we played games.  I made up rules to made up games to play with my made up friend.  I also played by the rules so sometimes I won and sometimes I lost.  (Interesting that I had such ethics with someone that no one else could even see.)

Yes...we wrestled.  Nothing like doing a suplex on a three foot long pillow only for it to be reversed and getting pinned for the 3 count.  (What's not to like about wrestling when you're a 6 year old kid and your best friend is made up.)

Yes...we hung out.  It was around this time that my great grand mother passed away and the fear of death loomed over me...

A side note to parents, if you don't have a choice but to bring your kids to the funeral home when a loved one passes away I totally understand (my mom didn't), just try to keep them away from all the really creepy stuff as much as you can.  If you're one of those parents though that think that taking your 6 year old to a funeral home otherwise known to them as "The House of Death" (you know that place with dim lighting, coffins and oh yeah FREAKIN' DEAD PEOPLE) is a good way to expose them to the harsh realities of life you're seriously a punk and down right sadistic.

Night time was especially bad during this time of my childhood.  It was just me and mom...in a big, weird house with doors that had nothing behind them and stairways that let to nowhere.  I learned what terror was then but thankfully my little buddy was there to help me get through the night.  Don't ask me how, I really don't know.

After delivering this bit of history to our minions I could actually see a change in their countenance.  They realized THEY could actually make stuff like that up and not have to depend on a sibling, a yard, church people, video games or the internet for personal interaction or play (ha...take that internet).  Both of them immediately made up some little friends and an all out battle royal of kids versus pillows ensued in their rooms.  It was pretty cool but a little sad at the same time.

Cool...because they discovered something that had somehow eluded them up until this point in their lives.  Sad...because there are things in this world that is trying to steal our kids imaginations right from under our noses.

Yeah, I look back and I'm sure I could've benefited from more socialization and things of that nature but what I lacked in that area fostered one crazy cool imagination.  My little friend Baby Jay has long moved on and started an imaginary family of his own but from time to time the imagination he helped create comes back to visit and when it does, it's always a welcome visitor in my mind.