20 Year Perspective

So on this, the eve of my 20 year reunion, I want to give a few props out and deal with a few things that have been rolling around in my head lately.

First off, I want to deliver a sincere thank you to a merry little band of misfits simply known as Sloan’s Lunch Bunch.  If you’re one of the few people that knew this tiny clan existed then count yourself blessed.  This little group was my sanity, my refuge, and my source to anything remotely connected to the outside world in high school.  Without this sanctuary of individuals I probably wouldn’t be writing this now.  I’m not sure where I would be to be quite honest but sometimes I shudder to think…

I don’t feel the need to name specific people that were a part of this group.  If you know then you know, if you don’t then you just didn’t.  No harm or foul either way.  See, I could ramble on and on about what each person in this group did for me individually but what was most important about this group was just that, the group itself.  When you’re the new kid that’s kinda weird, who doesn’t seem to fit in, and who has a less than perfect home life, the one thing you want above anything else is to just belong somewhere…anywhere…just somewhere.  To each and every one of you my sincerest thanks.

Over the past few weeks I’ve seen a lot of pics posted for my 20 year class reunion and try as I might, I haven’t seen myself in any of them.  Not even a single awkward “accidentally being in the background” shot.  It’s kinda a bummer to realize how non-existent you really were in your high school years but I don’t fault anyone from that time for that anymore.  I used to.  I used to shake my fist at the people that seemed to dominate the skyline of our class and wonder why.  If one thing time can offer you as a gift is perspective.

Looking back I get it now.  Hey, I’ve already admitted a few paragraphs ago that I was kinda a weird kid and that doesn’t really get you noticed for the right reasons.  I wasn’t the easiest guy to get to know either.  I could be distant, quiet, and absorbed in drawing goofy cartoons or writing really bad poetry.  I was that kid…you know…that kid.      

I have to admit, part of me wanted to be in those pics somehow.  Not to be part of the top of the high school food chain necessarily but for other reasons.  Mainly for opportunities missed and the ability to look back at high school with a sense of fondness instead of regret.  I regret not getting more involved and allowing myself to get to know more people, maybe even make some lasting friendships.  Unfortunately my home life wasn’t a very encouraging one and the sense to persevere over my surroundings didn’t arrive till later in life.  This seemed to suppress any desire I had to rise above it if you will.

This brings me to these simple points:

1.)    In spite of my own motivational challenges, circumstances, and general weirdness I had a few people that dug deep and accepted me for who I was.  They at least kept me in the ballpark even though I never really played the game.  Again, thank you...seriously...thank you.

2.)    My biggest regret in high school is not that more people didn’t get to know me; it’s that I never gave them someone to really know.

3.)    If you or your kids ever run across the new kid that’s a little weird but looks like they could use a friend, give them a chance…maybe even two or three chances.  Maybe they truly are messed up in the head but maybe, just maybe, under the layers of weirdness there’s a person that you could call a friend.

Much love to the people I graduated with.  The ones I knew well, the ones I didn’t know so well but were still nice to me and the ones I didn’t get to know at all.  We’ve all made it this far and that’s something to be proud of and thankful for.  Hats off to you class of ’94…indeed.