The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From the Tree

If you've ever been around me and my family you've met Sam.  If you've ever met Sam you usually never forget it.  He's one of those kids that rarely if ever meets a stranger (which is stupid scary for a parent but at times really funny to watch).  I often wondered why he is the way he is but more and more I see where the DNA comes from.  I'm convinced he's a true mixture of Cindy's way with people and my way with words.  A truly awesome and sometimes frightful sight to see in action...all the time.

Thankfully though, his sister Marlee is the ying to his yang.  She provides balance and keeps him somewhat in check.  At 6 years old we're already trying to prepare her for all the misadventures Sam will inevitably get the two of them into with his personality and demeanor.  If God ever forged an anchor for someone he did it for Sam with Marlee.

That being said, I wanted to share a recent conversation I had with an unsuspecting online rep for Verizon.  Once you read it you might just understand where Sam gets some of his traits from.  It was only recently that I started to see those parallels in his behavior and mine.  So for the people that enjoy Sam and his antics, you're welcome and for those that don't...get over it...he's just a kid.

You are now chatting with 'Cool Verizon Rep'

Cool Verizon Rep: Hello, welcome to Verizon Wireless sales chat! My name is Cool Verizon Rep, may I have your name, please?

allen christian: Sure, it's Allen Christian.

Cool Verizon Rep: Hi Christian! How can I assist you today/

Cool Verizon Rep: ?

Cool Verizon Rep: Sorry, Allen.

allen christian: No worries. :)

Cool Verizon Rep: How can I assist you, Allen?

allen christian: Here's my question. We're moving to random rural place, Virginia and there's only two choices we have for internet. One is "evil local internet provider" and the other is Verizon. We use our current internet at home to watch Netflix and amazon prime and normal internet usage. Would Verizon offer something that would give us the data we need that wouldn't be super expensive?

Cool Verizon Rep: We do have a broadband router and you would be able to choose the data package that suits you, however we don't currently offer unlimited data.

allen christian: What are the rates for the different data packages?

Cool Verizon Rep: They start a $20 for 2 GB and go all the way up to 50 GB $375

allen christian: Wow...I think that definitely answers my question. I really hate it's that expensive. we already have smart phone service through Verizon and we were hoping we could get internet through Verizon as well. "evil local internet provider" has really bad reviews in this area and there really isn't any other alternatives.

Cool Verizon Rep: I'm sorry about that. I know that the limited data doesn't really work for your situation.

Cool Verizon Rep: Hi, I'm just checking in, how is everything going?

allen christian: Well, we may just try to go with a dish service, drop the streaming services, and up our data on our smart phones a little to cover any other normal usage. The reviews on "evil local internet provider" honestly scare me.

Cool Verizon Rep: Yea, I know don't know much about "evil local internet provider". But it sounds like they are pretty bad in the area you’re moving to.

allen christian: We actually really like our phone service since we got them. now if you guys can get an unlimited internet data plan for $100 or under that would be awesome. :)

Cool Verizon Rep: We used to offer unlimited data but it bogged the network down. So they took it away.

allen christian: Build a bigger network. If you build it...we will come.

allen christian: Seriously...with the abysmal situation with cable companies right now Verizon would mop up the competition if they could do that.

Cool Verizon Rep: We currently offer the most reliable network in America and we have some customers who still have the unlimited data plans.

Cool Verizon Rep: The cable companies do charge too much. I pay almost $200 every month to “different but equally evil internet service provider”.

allen christian: See...you know where I'm coming from. You guys are the most reliable...now put in some super charged networks and me and you both can kiss the cable companies goodbye.

Cool Verizon Rep: I completely understand, however I don’t know if Verizon will ever offer unlimited data again.

allen christian: If amazon can deliver packages via unmanned drones...Verizon can figure out a way to make unlimited wireless internet affordable again.

Cool Verizon Rep: I haven't seen any Amazon.com drones. I thought that was just a plan. Have they started doing that?

allen christian: Watch the skies my friend. It's only a matter of time. Google already has unmanned cars for Google maps. It's definitely not a stretch for amazon to go delivery drone in the months to come.

Cool Verizon Rep: Kinda scary how advanced technology is getting. I like Fedex and UPS. I dont know if I want my package to come in a drone!

allen christian: You know it's going to be on news that some guy gets knocked out from being hit in the head with an order of toilet paper from amazon. I'll have to switch from my baseball cap to an army helmet.

Cool Verizon Rep: :D Yep. It only a matter of time. I wont be ordering anything that way.

allen christian: well let's hope for our sake that they have some good drone pilots. Not to mention that the locals around here will just try to shoot them like everything else that moves around here.

Cool Verizon Rep: Yea, Americans and their guns!

allen christian: It's rabbit season..no it's duck season..no it's drone season.

Cool Verizon Rep: Lol. Thank you so much for being nice. I really enjoyed talking to you. Some of your fellow humans can be jerks on here sometimes! :)

allen christian: You're quite welcome. I can only imagine what you guys have to put up with. I know you guys take some serious abuse so if I can be one of the nice people and even invoke a laugh every now and then maybe I can undo a little bit of what some of the rest of the species inflict upon you. You do a job, you try to get paid, you have families...you're no different than me.

Cool Verizon Rep: That's right. I think sometimes the customers lose sight of that. I try to show empathy when you guys drop your phones in the pool with no warranty or insurance and then expect me to send you a free phone but its hard! :)

allen christian: Bahaha...well no matter how idiot proof you try to make something, they'll just build a better idiot. I think the age we live in has built a society full of people that feel impatience and entitlement instead of grace and gratefulness. I break my phone, shame on me. I live in a country that breaking my phone can be remedied by buying another phone at a store 10 minutes away. That's not a problem, its a tiny inconvenience. If I had to try and protect my children from getting shot in a war zone I would have real problems.

Cool Verizon Rep: :D Its time for me to go home. Again. I thank you so much for being nice. Even though I didn't sell you anything, I wish more of my customers were like you.. You made my night a lot better! Thank you! Have a nice evening and chat back in if you ever have any questions!

allen christian: Well if I had anything to buy I would buy it from you in a heart beat. Thank you for being cool and the good conversation. Go home and enjoy your time off until your next shift.